All signs point to...

First, let me just take a minute to pat myself on the back.  It's been 2 years and 13 days since I've posted here and I managed to login with minimal bullshit and only 2 password attempts.

My 26 year old self is different in every way imaginable from the 23 year old Laura who started this blog 3 years ago; I couldn't help but think about it as I drove home from my Mom's house on this gorgeous sunshine state afternoon.  The last time I posted here, I had packed up and moved into her spare bedroom on a whim, as a single girl looking for a fun summer at the beach  (and you can bet your ass I found one).  I had transferred at work and made a whole new set of friends to get into trouble with (while continuing to get into trouble with my firey red headed still best friend),  and in-between long, hot days spent bikini clad on the beach, sneaking into hotel pools, and getting repeatedly kicked out of the beach bars , I sat in the cozy corner of the most comfortable couch ever made and typed post after post on my little Toshiba laptop.   At some point, I lost track of time and forgot all about sweet baby Louder and just let it go.  Fast forward 2 years later and I sit here on my 'not yet paid for' brown couch and type this post on my little shattered iPhone (life proof does not protect against throwing your phone against a wall people, I learned that the hard way last week), my beloved lap top has since died and gone to technology hell.   I now share an apartment with my handsome boyfriend, our pitbull princess Zoë, and snuggly tuxedo kitty Piper.  Today, when I drove home from shopping with my Mom in my new-(ish) grown up girl car, I couldn't even remember that girl I used to be; the girl with the purple hair, the girl whose wardrobe was made up of cut off jeans and band shirts, the girl who believed in and loved music more than everything else....and then I heard it.

My love of music has grown and evolved, or so I thought until I heard and LOVED Taylor Swift's new song 'Shake it Off'- I wanted to believe I was too old to love her.- I was wrong.  Anyway, I was listening to one of the 100s of pandora stations I frequent and I heard 'All Signs Point to Lauderdale.' No matter how old I get, I will never not love that song., I love it so much I turned the volume all the way up and rolled the windows down (cue my boyfriend's eye roll since I never let him roll the windows down for fear of tangling my hair).   My twitter has since dropped off the face of the planet but my headline was, and still is- if I could remember THAT password, a lyric from that song.

"No one can understand, I just can't be tied down, nothing comes between me and my plans."

I've always loved that, it means something different to me now than it did so many years ago but that whole song gives me the feels just like it always has.  I have trouble with self expression sometimes and I've always turned to music and writing to help me sort out what's going on inside my head.  For some time now, I've been frustrated with my current situation and being in a position if high authority I have to keep my best 'retail face' on at all times (it doesn't take a genius to figure out what a retail face is but I'll explain later anyway).  It's easy to feel alone in frustration, even when I share my feelings with those closest to me, they sympathize but they don't fully understand; but some songs give hope, and a sense of comradarie in a feeling, and inspiration to make a change.  So here's my first one, I've always loved writing this blog and I wish I knew the real reason I let it go; I can blame it on boredom, or lack of time, but the truth is I think it's going to take a lot more reflection to figure it out.  So from here on out, what separates me from you (haha, get it?) is this keyboard.